Resolution Solutions
by Emmuk
Summary: All Grown Up: Season 6 begins with a new school year for the Rugrats, and with a new school year comes new school year resolutions... Unfortunately, no one's resolutions seem to be going as planned, with the exception of Dil. This is Season 6 Episode 1.
1. Chapter 1

"Can you guys believe it's already the last day of summer?" Tommy asked.

"I know!" Phil said, "One minute you're rolling around in the mud without a care in the world, and the next you're trapped in the hideous cage they call _school_, with teachers and gym class and dare I say it… _books."_

Kimi rolled her eyes and said dryly, "Oh, the horror."

Tommy, Phil, Kimi, Lil, Chuckie, and Dil sat around a table in the crowded Java Lava, drinking smoothies, a regular summer activity of theirs. On the other end of the room, Chaz frantically prepared people's orders behind the counter in order to keep up with the rush while Betty worked the register and barked out orders.

"Don't mind Phil," Lil gave a dismissive wave of her hand, "He always panics about the beginning of the school year. He's just afraid his new science teacher will mistake him for a lower life form and try to dissect him."

"Hey!" Phil retorted.

Lil took no notice and continued, "_I_ on the other hand look forward to the first day of school. A new year means new possibilities..."

"Speaking of new possibilities," said Tommy, "A new school year means new-school-year resolutions. Remember when we all agreed to do come up with resolutions going into the school year?"

"Of course we remember," Chuckie smiled. "What's yours, Tommy?"

"Well," he responded, "I've been thinking, and ever since I was little I've loved film-making. It's what I do. And that's great, but lately I've been wondering if I have any other artistic talents that I've never discovered because I'm so preoccupied with making movies? What if I have yet to unleash my full artistic potential?"

"So your new-school-year resolution is to find something else you're good at?" Chuckie clarified.

"Exactly," Tommy said.

"Ha!" Dill smacked his palm on the table for dramatic effect. "You call that a resolution? My resolution, upon execution, will change the course of human history forever! As well as create intergalactic peace."

"Intergalactic peace?" Chuckie asked, confused.

"I didn't realize the galaxies were at odds," Lil smirked.

"Oh, they are!" Dil exclaimed. "Don't you read the obscure blog sites managed by anonymous journalists who post weekly updated news articles based on tidbits they receive from their alien contacting informants?"

"Not lately," Lil said. Tommy stifled back a laugh.

"Well, let me tell you," Dil looked at each person at the table in turn, "It's not pretty, my friends. Humans and extraterrestrials are not getting along, and _I'm_ going to do something about it. Those poor aliens are just misunderstood. If humans only knew how intelligent, fun, and peace-loving they are, we could all get along. I blame myself for not doing something sooner. That's why my new-school-year resolution is to increase extraterrestrial awareness."

Next Lil said, "I'm going to use my talents to give back to the community. I signed up to coach a pee-wee soccer team."

"Lil, that's a great idea," said Kimi supportively.

"And my new-school-year resolution is to become a better soccer player than Lil," Phil announced confidently.

Lil sighed, "Phil, we've been over this. That's never going to happen."

"You're just scared, because you know once I get in some extra practice, I'll be whipping your butt out on the field."

"Phil, we play for the same team. That doesn't even make sense-"

"Anyway…" Tommy interjected, "how about you guys?" He looked at Chuckie and Kimi.

Chuckie cleared his throat and announced, "My new-school-year resolution is to be less socially awkward than last year."

"Chuckie, you know we like you just the way you are. Why do you always think you're not good enough?" Tommy asked.

"Besides," Kimi added, "remember when Angelica made you her 'project' and helped you become cool? How well did _that_ end?"

"That was different," said Chuckie. "When Angelica was helping me, I was trying to be someone I'm not. I don't want to pretend to be cool, I just want to be myself but less…"

"Dorky?" suggested Phil.

"Klutzy?" Lil.

"Socially incompetent?" Dil.

"Thank you!" Chuckie snapped angrily, folding his arms. "I think we get the idea. How about you, Kimi? What's you're new-school-year resolution?"

"Oh, I don't have one. I couldn't think of anything." She shrugged.

"Come on, Kimi, you've gotta do something," Tommy coaxed. "It's a brand new year. A fresh start. Change is in the air."

"What if I don't want change?" Kimi asked. "What if I'm perfectly happy with just the way things are? I have a loving family, the best friends in the world, and I'm about to start another year of a first-class education that promises me a successful future. What more could I want?"

"Lame…" Phil, said, unimpressed.

"Come on, Kimi," Tommy said. "We don't make resolutions because we _need_ to. We're just doing it for fun. You should join in."

"You're resolution could be to help me with my social aptitude," Chuckie suggested. "Let's be real. I'm going to need all the help I can get."

Kimi thought about it. "Make my new-school-year resolution helping someone else with their resolution? Okay, I'll do it."

"Solid!" said Tommy. "You guys, I have a good feeling about this year. Let's make it our best school year yet." He raised his smoothie in preparation for a toast. "To a new school year, together."

The others raised their smoothies in suit and cheered. Then slurping noises filled the room as they all took long sips through their straws.

"Oh, please…" a voice said. The tweens looked up to see Angelica enter through the front door and approach their table, strutting as if she owned the place. Right behind her was Susie. "You _children_ think it's going to be a great year for _you_? Think again. While _you're_ stuck in the hallways of that lame-o junior high school, _I'm_ going to be making my way in the glamorous world of _hiiigh schoool._" Angelica drew out the words 'high school' for extra emphasis. "With my new high school friends, high school fashion, and high school parties."

"Angelica, high school isn't about fashion and parties," Susie said. "It's about learning. You know, preparing for college. That's why they call it a 'school'."

"Are you talking?" Angelica responded, nonchalantly, "Because I was busy thinking about _hiiigh schoool_…" Angelica got a far away look in her eye and smiled at the though of her future in high school. Then she seemed to notice the other kids were still there watching her, and she returned to her I'm-superior-to-you persona. "And do you know what the best part of high school is? The rest of you won't be there to cramp my style. This is my chance to have a fresh start without all of your lack-of-cool holding me back from becoming the popular girl I was born to be."

Susie scowled. "Hello! We're in the same grade, Angelica. I'm going to high school, too, you know."

Angelica's smile faded as if she hadn't realized that before. "Right. Well, just keep an appropriate distance from me at all times, and I'm sure we can make it work." She looked back at Tommy and the others, "Now if you little pipsqueaks don't mind, I'm going to go over _there_," she pointed to a booth, "where the older, more mature, and significantly cooler _hiiigh schoool_ crowd sits."

"No… wait… please don't go…" Kimi mumbled sarcastically as Angelica walked away with Susie.

"Think about it," Phil mused. "For seven hours a day, five days a week, there will be five entire blocks separating us from Angelica."

Tommy smiled and draped one arm over the back of his chair. "I told you guys this would be a good year."


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning before classes started, the school hallways were bustling with activity. Students were decorating their new lockers and talking to old friends, catching up on what they did over the summer. Kimi and Chuckie walked down the hallway together. Kimi was smiling, but Chuckie looked nervous.

"Alright, this is what I want you to do," Kimi told her brother. She looked around the hallway and spotted a boy with short, dark hair and a red t-shirt putting his backpack into his locker. "That's Colin. I sat in front of him last year in English class. He's shy but really nice. Go talk to him."

"What?!" Chuckie exclaimed, taken aback. "You want me to go talk to a stranger, just like that? Do you have any idea how many things could possibly go wrong? I thought you were going to help me first, not send me up a creek without a paddle. Where's my paddle?!"

"Chuckie, relax. I'm going to help you, but first I need to see you in action. I'll watch you from afar and observe what you do well and what you don't, and then I'll have a better idea of how specifically to help you."

"But Kimi, we live in the same house and hang out with the same people. You've seen me in action plenty of times…" Chuckie responded, confused.

"Yeah, but before we were just siblings spending time together. _This_ is research."

"I guess that kind of makes sense…not really…"

"Sure, it does. I'll be right here, observing. Now go." Kimi gave Chuckie a shove, and he stumbled right up to Colin. Colin eyed him warily. He was short for his age and had a baby face, making him look particularly young and innocent.

"'Sup," Chuckie said. He tried to stand casually with his elbow resting against the lockers, but his elbow slipped and he banged his head against the lockers instead, nearly knocking his glasses off. "Ow. I mean, how's it going?"

"It's going," Colin said guardedly, one hand holding his open locker door.

"Cool!" Chuckie said, overly enthusiastic. "Me too! I'm also… going."

"What?"

"Never mind. So, uh, how was your summer?"

Colin smiled, "Good. Yours?"

"Good! Mine was good, too." He laughed nervously and snorted.

"Um, did you just snort?"

"No!" Chuckie lied. There was a moment of silence where both Chuckie and Colin stood awkwardly.

Chuckie fumbled for something to say. What came out of his mouth was, "Nice eraser."

Colin had an eraser sitting in his locker. It was your average pink, rectangular eraser. Colin gave Chuckie a puzzled look, "Thanks?"

"You're welcome."

Another awkward silence followed.

"Well," Colin said shyly, "I gotta go. Catch you later."

"Oh, yeah, sure. You go. I'll stay here. Actually, I won't stay here. This is you're locker. I'll go, too- to my locker, and I'll stay there. I'm Chuckie."

"Colin."

Colin closed his locker, gave a polite little smile and a wave and walked away. Chuckie exhaled deeply and slumped against the lockers. Kimi approached him and in disbelief said, "Nice eraser? That's the best topic of conversation you could come up with?"

"I blanked, okay? What was I supposed to do?"

"Not snort or slam your head against a locker, that's for sure."

"Those were accidents," he whined.

Kimi sighed and shook her head. "We've got a lot of work to do."

* * *

The late afternoon sun shone brightly over the school courtyard. Dil stood behind a folding table he had set up on the grass. The table was covered with pictures of aliens and signs that said things like 'Extraterrestrials are people too' and 'Aliens are not the enemy'. Dil even had little flags with stars and planets on them sticking off the sides of his table.

"Peace between humans and extraterrestrials is within our grasp!" he preached to the passing students, none of which were paying any attention to him. "Creatures with green skin and four eyes are our friends. Do not listen to the hype being spread on alien tabloid websites. It's all a lie. Aliens are kind and gentle. And they play a mean game of ping-pong…"

Tommy, with a large spiral sketchpad under one arm and a pencil in his other hand, approached Dil's table and glanced at some of the obviously fake pictures of aliens. "Hi, D. How's the campaign going?"

Dil stopped listing off statistics about the probability of life on other planets and turned to his brother, grinning. "Couldn't be better, T. I'm spreading the truth. I will not rest until all misconceptions about extraterrestrial life are washed away from the minds of my classmates, which based on my calculations, should be about two weeks from Wednesday. How about you? Have you discovered your hidden artistic abilities yet?"

Tommy frowned. "I don't know. I've been working on this drawing all morning. What do you think?" He held up his sketchpad to reveal a crudely drawn image of some sort of creature with squiggly lines around it.

"What is that? A koala with its head on fire?" Dil asked.

Tommy groaned. "It's supposed to be a lion. That's its mane."

"Oh, well that's a relief. I was pretty disturbed there for a second."

Tommy ripped the page from the sketchbook and crumpled it up in his fist. "Okay, so drawing isn't my strong suit. I'm sure there's something else I'm good at. There are plenty of other things I can try."

"That's the spirit, T. Now if you don't mind, my public awaits."

There wasn't a single person paying the slightest attention to Dil's table except Tommy, but Tommy just shrugged and walked away, throwing his crumpled up picture in a nearby trash can as he passed it by.

Dil continued speaking to the students in the courtyard. "Friends! Classmates! Acquaintances! Kid over there I've never seen before! Our extraterrestrial friends need our support. These poor, poor, misunderstood creatures are not to be feared or ignored. In fact, they are ingenious in many ways. Except at tying their shoes. They never got the hang of that. But other than that, we could benefit greatly from their intelligence. But first, we must befriend them-"

"Pickles! What are you doing?!" Vice-principal Pangborn marched angrily across the grass up to where Dil had his table set up.

Ignorant to Pangborn's anger, Dil smiled joyfully up at him and explained, "I am increasing extraterrestrial awareness and restoring intergalactic peace."

"Don't give me that mumbo-jumbo," replied Pangborn, unimpressed. "I want you to remove this alien propaganda from my sight this instance and put the folding table back where you found it."

Dil's smile was replaced by confusion. "Why?"

"Because, no student is allowed to set up a table, booth, or stand on school property without faculty permission. It's the rules."

"Could I have permission, then?"

"No," Pangborn said sternly, without hesitation.

"Alright, alright. Don't get your undies in a bunch," Dil said, and he began to remove the pictures and signs he had taped to his table.


	3. Chapter 3

Kimi and Chuckie stood outside after school. There were other students around, socializing, waiting for their rides to pick them up, or talking on their phones.

"All right, Chuckie, we're going to start small," Kimi encouraged him. "All you have to do is walk across the school yard and say hi to whoever you pass by. You don't even need to have a conversation. Just say hi."

"Just say hi. Got it."

Chuckie started walking across the grass, where a lot of students were mingling. Chuckie opened his mouth to say hi to the first person he saw, but right at that moment, instead of the word 'hi', a giant sneeze came out. The sneeze was so powerful, Chuckie fell over and landed on top of a boy who had been trying to walk past him. The two of them lay sprawled out on the ground.

Chuckie looked at the boy and feebly said, "Hi."

The boy pulled himself out from underneath Chuckie and ran off. Kimi ran over with concern and helped Chuckie to his feet.

"What happened?" she asked.

Chuckie answered, "Allergies."

Kimi shook her head. "Okay, maybe being outdoors wasn't such a good idea. Let's go back inside. I need to grab my homework out of my locker before we go home anyway."

The two of them entered back into the school building together into the almost deserted hallways. As they passed by the art room, Chuckie noticed something. He back-tracked and poked his head into the room. "Tommy? What are you doing in here? You know school ended fifteen minutes ago."

Tommy was in the otherwise empty art room, wearing a smock, covered in paint, and focusing intently on a canvas that Chuckie and Kimi couldn't see the front of. He held a paintbrush in his hand, and jars of paint sat on a table next to him.

"Hey guys," he said. "Just trying out my painting skills. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I have any skills to try out…"

Chuckie and Kimi entered the art room and stood behind Tommy to examine his work. What they saw was a very colorful and drippy smiley face.

"It's, um, cheerful," Kimi said, pulling at straws for something nice to say.

"It's pathetic is what it is," said Tommy, setting down his paintbrush. "I'm terrible with a pencil and clearly no better with a paintbrush."

"Cheer up, Tommy. You'll find something else you're good at," Chuckie said encouragingly.

"I don't know," Tommy said dejectedly. "What if film making is my only talent? All this time I've been calling myself an artist and I'm not even good at most forms of art."

Kimi snapped her fingers in a light bulb moment. "I've got an idea. You know what else is artistic? Music. Have you tried playing a musical instrument yet?"

With renewed hope Tommy said, "No, I haven't. Kimi, that's a great idea! I'll be a musician!" Tommy pulled his smock off over his head and hung it on a rack on the wall. "Thanks you guys." He picked up his canvas and scrutinized it one more time. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure this _work of art_ never sees the light of day again."

* * *

The next day, Dil walked down the school hallway with an armful of pamphlets, handing them out to everyone he saw. "Aliens are friends, not fiends… Spread the word… Spread intergalactic love."

Pangborn rounded the corner on the other end of the hall and picked up one of Dil's pamphlets that someone had dropped on the floor. It said 'Extraterrestrial Awareness: Are You Informed?' He scowled and made his way through the crowded hallway to where Dil was still handing out pamphlets.

"Pickles, just what in the world do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Not just in the world, Mr. Pangborn," Dil corrected. "In the universe! I'm increasing extraterrestrial awareness. But you already knew that. We talked about this yesterday, remember?"

"Oh, I remember," said Pangborn angrily. "I also remember telling you not to conduct this nonsense on school property."

Dil shook his head. "No, what you told me yesterday was that I'm not allowed to set up a table. And I didn't. Even though it would be a lot easier than lugging around all these pamphlets."

Dil awkwardly tried to get a better grip on the huge, messy stacks of pamphlets he had in his arms. Pangborn eyed them.

"How many of those pamphlets do you have?" he asked.

"I don't know," Dil replied. "How many sheets of paper were left in the school printers?"

Pangborn shook with rage. "You used up _all_ of the school's printing paper?! That's it!" He grabbed all the pamphlets from Dil. "I'm confiscating these, and if I see any more evidence of your alien wish-wash, you'll be suspended, Pickles! Do you understand me? Suspended!"

Dil slumped his shoulders. "Yes, sir."

Pangborn marched away with Dil's many pamphlets, but Dil just smiled and ran down the hall in the opposite direction. A few seconds later Dil heard an awful sound, and he stopped to listen. He followed the sound to its source and found that it was coming from the band room. More specifically, it was coming from a trombone that Tommy was playing in the otherwise deserted band room.

"Tommy, bro, the air should be coming from your diaphragm, and you're not pursing your lips right," Dil informed him as he entered the room. A pile of abandoned instruments lay scattered on the floor around Tommy.

Tommy set the trombone down and rested his chin on his hands. "I just can't get it, Dil. I thought I'd come in here during my free period and pick out an instrument, but I've tried six different instruments already, and I'm not a natural at any of them." He absently kicked a sheet of music paper that was on the floor next to his foot.

Dil said nothing but rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He opened his mouth to say something as the school bell rang. Changing gears, he said, "Oops, gotta go. Catch you later."

Dil hurried away, leaving a crestfallen Tommy behind.

* * *

In the cafeteria, Lil, Kimi, Phil, and Tommy sat together eating lunch.

"Where's Chuckie?" Tommy thought aloud.

Kimi sighed, "Beats me. After another miserably failed attempt at being social without being awkward, I accused him of not trying hard enough, and we got into a big fight. Then he just took off, and I haven't seen him since. I think he's avoiding me."

"Harsh," said Phil, eating a giant forkful of his lunch, something that looked like meat mixed with peas.

"Was it really that big of a fight? What happened?" Tommy asked, concerned.

"Let's just say I said some things that I'd rather not repeat, but you guys have no idea how frustrating this has been." Kimi said defensively. "No matter what we try, Chuckie always seems to mess it up somehow. It's like he's genetically incapable of being a normal teenager."

"Did you say those things to Chuckie?" Tommy asked. "Because if you did, I can see why he's avoiding you."

Kimi slumped in her chair.

Noticing Kimi's moodiness, Lil changed the subject. "So, Tommy, how's your new-school-year resolution going?"

"Not so great. Everything I've tried so far has been a dud. But…" Tommy fished around in his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper, "Before lunch I tried something new. I wrote a poem. After all, writing is art, right?"

"Totally," Lil said.

"Let's hear it," said Kimi.

Phil took another way-too-big bite of his food and some dripped onto his shirt. His mouth was full, so he just nodded.

Tommy cleared his throat dramatically and read,

"_Darkness falling around me,_

_Four walls surround me,_

_My only company is the moon,_

_I must go to sleep,_

_Because tomorrow I have school"_

Tommy's three friends stared at him for a few moments, in shock. Phil was the first to speak.

"Man, that was _really_ bad."

Tommy looked at Kimi and Lil. "Was it awful? Be honest."

Lil nodded, "Sorry, Tommy, but it stunk worse than Phil's sock drawer."

Tommy set his poem down on the table, upside down so he wouldn't have to look at it. "New-school-year resolutions are harder than I thought."

"Speak for yourself. I've been practicing my soccer skills every chance I get," Phil said proudly. "I'll be better than Lil in no time. I can feel it."

Lil was not intimidated. "Yeah, right… My first day of coaching pee-wee soccer is today after school, and I have practice all planned out. I look forward to sharing my talents with a younger generation."

Across the cafeteria, Dil climbed on top of a lunch table and spread his arms. The most noticeable thing about him was the shirt he was wearing. It was over-sized and had a picture of an alien on it with extra-large eyes, four arms, three legs, and a tail that looked like it belonged on a dinosaur. On the back of his shirt it said 'They come in peace.'

"One and all! Dudes and dudettes! Lend me your ear!" he raised his voice for the whole room to hear.

"Oh, no," Tommy groaned, shielding his face with one hand. "Why is he my brother? _Why?_"

"Funny, I was asking myself the same question earlier after my fight with Chuckie," said Kimi.

"I've been asking myself that question for years," Lil added.

"Hey!" Phil retorted, accidentally spitting food out of his mouth in the process.

Meanwhile, Dil was already in full speech mode. Most kids ignored him. A couple listened for a brief moment then lost interest. Some were laughing and pointing, but Dil took no notice. He was in the zone. He was in the middle of an anecdote about a midget martian from Mars when suddenly Dil's view was obscured by a pair of cold, dark eyes glaring at him.

"Whoa, Mr. Pangborn, sir, I can't see my audience."

"I warned you, Pickles," Pangborn said. "No more chances. You're suspended!"

He grabbed Dil like a sack of potatoes and carried him out of the cafeteria, over one shoulder.

"I will not be silenced!" Dil yelled as his voice faded away down the hallway. "Free speech! Free speech-!"


	4. Chapter 4

After school, Lil was outside on one end of the school's soccer field. She wore a plain t-shirt, shorts, and cleats, and she wore a whistle around her neck. There were a handful of soccer balls scattered about and orange cones set up for various soccer drills. About ten kindergarteners stood in a line, facing her, all wearing their own soccer appropriate clothing. On the other end of the field, Phil was attempting to kick a soccer ball into the goal with varying levels of success. Sometimes he would make it and let out a victory woot. Other times the ball wouldn't go anywhere near the goal and he would bashfully chase after it. However, Lil was too busy addressing her team to notice her brother.

"Welcome to your first day of pee-wee soccer. You may call me Coach Lil. The first thing we're going to learn today is-"

The kids yelled in delight and ran every which way. Some kids started kicking soccer balls around. One kid pulled off his tennis shoe and chucked it at another kid's head.

"What-?" Lil paused with her mouth hanging open, caught off guard by the sudden chaos. Then she got angry. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Playing soccer!" one girl responded.

"No, you're not," Lil said condescendingly. "You're running around with absolutely no idea what you're doing, and you all need to STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

The kids froze.

Lil smiled. "That's better. Now, as I was saying-"

One of the boys raised his hand and announced, "I have to go potty."

Lil sighed and pointed to the wooden building that held the bathrooms. "Go ahead."

The boy scampered to the door that had the image of a man on it. Lil continued, irritated but trying to be patient.

"The first thing we're going to do is practice kicking the ball back and forth. No running around, just nice, gentle kicks. Like so."

Lil lightly kicked one of the soccer balls so that it rolled over to the nearest kid. The kid stared at the ball for a second then kicked the ball as hard as he could. It flew by Lil's head, missing her by inches. The other kids yelled in excitement and in no time all the kids were kicking soccer balls as hard as they could. It was chaos.

Lil shook with frustration.

"So, how's the coaching going?" Lil hadn't even noticed Phil come over. He held his soccer ball under one arm. "They look like they're having fun."

"They're not supposed to be having fun, Phillip," Lil said through gritted teeth. "They're supposed to be learning how to play soccer. But they refuse to do anything except run around!"

"Lil, relax. They're, like, five. What do you expect?"

"I expect them to _listen_ to me."

"Well, then, you're not doing a very good job," he teased.

"Oh, and you could do better?" she prodded.

He smirked. "Better than this? Chya."

"Oh, really? I'd like to see you try. Go ahead, show me." Lil challenged.

"Right now?" Phil asked.

Lil nodded. "Yep."

Phil's face fell, like he hadn't anticipated actually having to prove himself. He cleared his throat and said with false confidence, "Yeah, sure, no problem."

Phil set down his soccer ball, and looked around at the group of pee-wee players, taking the scene in. They were still kicking soccer balls as hard as their little legs would allow. Lil sat down on the bleachers and got comfortable, ready to watch the show.

After a brief moment of contemplation, Phil yelled, "The first person who kicks a ball into the goal gets a free candy bar!"

That got the kids attention. Their eyes widened in excitement, and they were about to start rushing towards the nearest goal when Phil said, "But-!" The kids stopped and listened in anticipation. "-you have to kick the ball the way I show you or else it doesn't count. First, watch me."

Phil centered himself in front of the goal with a soccer ball at his feet. He backed up then took three steps toward the ball before kicking it. His foot made contact with the ball at a strange angle, and the ball arced through the air and hit the edge of the goal before bouncing out.

"Um," embarrassed, Phil tried to stay composed, "let me try that again…"

He leaned over to grab another soccer ball when he noticed that a blonde boy with blue eyes had picked up a bug of some kind. It was bright green and had long feelers. The boy was playing with it in his hands.

"Whoa…." Phil fixated on the bug, completely forgetting what he was supposed to be doing. "Where did you find that?"

"Right here," he answered. The bug started to crawl up the boy's arm, and he laughed. "That tickles!"

"If you think that tickles, try having a bug up your _nose_," Phil said, crouching down to get a closer look at the bug.

"You've had a bug up your nose?" a girl with long curly hair asked.

"Are you kidding? At least four times by the time I was your age. And let me tell you, it's no nose massage."

Some of the kids giggled in amusement, while some of them looked grossed out.

"_Ahem_, Phillip, I don't see any soccer happening," Lil taunted from the sidelines.

"Oh, right," Phil frowned briefly then stood up quickly with bravado. "Save that bug. We'll come back to it later. Watch me again."

Out of the corner of his eye, Phil could see Lil smirking. He swallowed nervously. He kicked another soccer ball. It went straight towards the goal, but landed a couple feet short.

"I don't understand!" Phil exclaimed as Lil laughed at him. "I've been practicing! It's _you're_ fault!" He pointed at his sister. "You're making me nervous!"

"Yeah, sure," Lil mocked. "Face it, Phil. You can't coach soccer. You need to be able to play soccer to teach it, and you can't even make a simple goal most of the time. How are they supposed to learn if you keep showing them how to do it _wrong_?"

"I told you," Phil retorted angrily, "I've been practicing. I'm just having an off day. I am perfectly capable-oof!"

Phil took a step backwards and tripped over an orange cone, landing flat on his back. He scrambled to his feet, embarrassed, while Lil laughed even harder than before.

She wiped a tear from her eye. "Stop, please. I can't take any more."

Phil shook with rages, his hands in tight fists. "Forget it! I'm out of here!"

Fuming, Phil retrieved his soccer ball and stomped off the field, leaving Lil laughing by the bleachers.


	5. Chapter 5

Tommy, Chuckie, and Dil shared a booth in the Java Lava. Dil sat with his feet up on the table.

"I'm telling you guys, my extraterrestrial awareness campaign is progressing quite successfully," Dil said, looking pleased. "Intergalactic peace is near. I can feel it."

"Dil, you just got suspended," Tommy reminded him. "You call that a sign of success?"

"It's all for the cause, bro. It's all about getting people talking."

"I hate to break it to you, Dil, but… nobody's talking," Tommy said gently.

"Oh-contraire, brother-man. Right before Pangborn carried me out of the cafeteria, I heard someone specifically say the phrase, and I quote, 'from another planet'."

"Yeah, I heard that, too. He was talking about how his lunch looked like it came here from another planet because it was so disgusting. Dil, you need to let this extraterrestrial awareness stuff go-"

"Let it go?!" Dil looked appalled at the suggestion. "If what you're saying is true, that means my campaign is working! The fact that people are even talking about other planets means that my message has penetrated their subconscious. I have everyone exactly where I want them." Dil smiled confidently and leaned back in his seat, as if the case were closed.

Tommy rested his chin in his hands, "Well, I am starting to regret this whole new-school-year resolution thing. I thought resolutions would be fun, you know, a neat way to kick off the school year, but so far they've been nothing but a big waste of time."

"You couldn't be having worse luck than me," Chuckie said, glumly. "Not only am I failing a being a normal social human being this year, but Kimi and I are fighting…"

"That's what Kimi said at lunch," Tommy remembered. "Are you guys still angry with each other?"

"Yeah," answered Chuckie. "It's stupid, really. I shouldn't be mad, and I know that, but it's hard being her brother sometimes. She's just so good at talking to people, and I'm so… not."

"At least you didn't spend the last two days discovering twelve new things you're terrible at," Tommy moped.

"At least you're good at something," Chuckie retorted. "You're a great filmmaker. All I've got to show for myself is the occasional B+ in science. And I'll be you never sneezed on someone while simultaneously knocking over someone else."

"And I'll bet you've never drawn a picture of a lion that looked like a dying koala bear. Let's face it, Chuckie, new-school-year resolutions are not working out for us."

Chuckie nodded glumly in agreement.

Dil took his feet off the table and leaned forward, both hands on the table. "Listen to you two! You're sitting here in self-pity when you should be taking on the world! Chuckie, Kimi is just trying to help you. Remember, it was your idea to ask her for help in the first place."

"Oh, yeah," Chuckie said. "It was, wasn't it?"

"So, let her help you. If you think you need to change for other people to like you, fine, but don't forget about the sister that already loves you. Tackle that new-year-resolution together, as a brother-sister duo! Don't let your goal to make new friends ruin a good relationship that you already have."

Chuckie frowned, thoughtfully, and Dil rounded on his brother.

"And Tommy, brethren, my own flesh and blood, I'm in full support of your quest to expand your artistic horizon, but the way you're going about it is all wrong."

"What are you talking about, Dil?" Tommy asked defensively.

"I'm saying," Dil said pointedly," that some skills are made, not found. Natural talents are great and all, but not everything comes easily in life. Just because you're not good at something the first time, doesn't mean you never will be. When I wanted to learn how to communicate with dolphins, did I give up when it got difficult?"

"No, you kept me up all night practicing clicky-squealy noises," Tommy remember, not too fondly.

"Exactly. And that's my advice to you, big brother. Decide what you want to do and work for it. You have so much potential, Tommy. Don't limit yourself to what you're only good at on your first try. You'll miss out on a lot of great opportunities in life that way."

Tommy stared at Dil for a second, then smiled. "D, when did you get so wise?"

"This afternoon in Vice-Principal Pangborn's office. I had a lot of time to think while I waited for Mom to pick me up and take me home."

The bell above the door jingled and Phil stomped in, clearly seething. He took the seat next to Dil.

"Phil, what's wrong?" Tommy asked, noticing his anger.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong!" Phil answered, on the brink of hysteria. "_Lil_. I'm never speaking to her again! She had the nerve to make fun of me on the soccer field today, in front of her entire class!"

"You're mad because she teased you in front of a bunch of five-year-olds?" Tommy asked, not quite understanding the problem.

"Lil's first soccer class was today?" Chuckie asked, genuinely curious. "How did it go?"

Phil glared at him, and Chuckie shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Uh, never mind. I'll ask her later."

Phil said to Tommy, "I wanted so badly to prove to Lil that I can be as good at soccer as she is, but when she was watching me I choked up and made a complete idiot of myself. And then Lil was a total jerk about it… It was so humiliating!" Phil groaned in frustration and smacked his forehead on the table. He didn't lift his head back up.

Tommy looked at Phil uncomfortably. "You know what, Phil, Dil is a great motivational speaker. He helped Chuckie and I out a second ago. Dil, why don't you tell Phil some of the stuff you told us?"

"Um…" Dil had barely gotten the utterance out of his mouth before Tommy and Chuckie were out the door, leaving him alone with Phil, who still had his head lying on the table. Dil awkwardly patted Phil on the back and said, "There, there. It'll be alright… Remember the time when I taught myself how to speak dolphin? It was difficult at first, but did I give up? No!"

Phil groaned.

* * *

"Smile!"

A bright light flashed in Dil's eyes, and he dropped the spoon he was holding. He had been sitting at his kitchen table eating cereal for breakfast when all of a sudden Tommy was standing over him with a digital camera, grinning.

Dil rubbed his eyes, temporarily blinded. "Dude, if you're gonna stick a camera in my face, turn off the flash next time."

"Sorry," Tommy sat down and examined his camera. "I found this in the closet last night, but I didn't see an instructions manual. I haven't figured out how to turn off the flash yet."

Didi was over by the counter, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. When she finished, she said, "Tommy, what are you doing with that old thing?"

"I've decided to be a photographer," he answered cheerfully. "Maybe one of these days I'll save up to buy a nicer camera, but for now this'll do. I'm surprised I've never gotten into photography before. It's totally cool. It requires a lot of the same skills as film making."

"That's great, sweetie," said Didi. "I'm sure you'll be a wonderful photographer."

"Some day, maybe," Tommy said, "The pictures I've taken so far could be better, but that's okay. Some skills take practice, and this is something I want to do."

Tommy made eye contact with his brother and smiled. Dil smiled back and they fist pumped each other.

"Thanks, D."

"Any time, T. Have fun at school."

"Have fun cleaning the house all day as punishment for getting suspended from school."


	6. Chapter 6

Kimi was walking down the school hallway with a textbook and a notebook in her arms when she spotted Tommy a little ways away holding an old digital camera, taking pictures of the floor, then the drinking fountain, then a poster on the wall. He saw her coming as she walked up to him.

"Hi Kimi," Tommy greeted cheerfully.

"Hey, Tommy. Every time I see you you're doing something different. Not wasting a minute completing your new-school-year resolution, are you?"

"Well, from now on you can get used to seeing me with this camera. I've made a commitment to photography."

"So you've found something you're good at? That's great!" Kimi congratulated.

Tommy smiled but not with the same level of enthusiasm. "Not exactly. After talking to Dil yesterday I modified my resolution a little bit. By the way, you haven't seen Chuckie, have you?"

"No," Kimi answered. "I had to come into school early this morning to work on an assignment."

"On the first week of school?" Tommy asked, aghast.

"I know, right!" Kimi grumbled. "Mr. Spellman is the worst teacher ever."

Tommy gave her a look of pity then said, "Remind me not to take his class next year."

"Anyway," Kimi changed the subject, "If you see Chuckie, tell him I want to talk to him."

"Count on it. I think he wants to talk to you, too. He feels bad about getting mad at you."

"I feel bad, too. When I see him, I'm going to apologize."

Without warning, Tommy took a picture of Kimi. Kimi gave him a disapproving look and walked away.

Tommy looked at the picture he had just taken. Kimi was in the foreground, holding her textbook and notebook, but what caught his eye were two boys in the background. They were walking, and one of them was showing the other boy one of Dil's "Extraterrestrial Awareness: Are You Informed?" pamphlets, and they appeared to be taking it seriously.

Tommy lowed his camera, mild surprise written on his face. "What do you know. People _are_ talking..."

* * *

Chuckie stood in the school cafeteria, holding his lunch tray. Most of the school was already eating. Chuckie watched the students, sitting together, talking and laughing. He sighed.

Then a quiet voice said, "Chuckie…"

Chuckie turned around and found himself facing Kimi, holding her own lunch tray. She smiled tentatively before saying, "Hi."

"Hi," Chuckie responded softly.

"Chuckie, look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I was just frustrated," she said. "I know you're trying your best. I just lost my cool. Can you forgive me?"

"Aw, it's okay," Chuckie gave a dismissive shrug. "You were just trying to help. Although to be honest, you should've known what you were getting into. I mean, you've lived with me for the past eleven years."

Kimi laughed, "And it's been a great eleven years."

"I agree. Can we be done fighting now?"

"Totally."

"Good, because I still want you to help me with my new-school-year resolution."

"Hmm," said Kimi, thinking. "About that… I don't know if you need my help."

"What?" Chuckie asked, baffled. "But my dorkiness is still at an all-time high!"

"But, Chuckie, you have everything that matters in a friend. You're a good brother and a good guy. You're honest and you care about other people. That counts for something, and that's not something you need my help with. Sure, you're kind of dorky sometimes, but you're a loyal friend to everyone you care about. Anyone would be lucky to know you, and if they don't see that, that's their loss."

Chuckie smiled, "Thanks, Kimi."

Kimi smiled back. "You want to know what I think? You can successfully complete your resolution by just being yourself."

"Just be myself?" Chuckie pondered the idea. "I guess I could do that."

"Sure you can," Kimi said encouragingly. "Now go show the world what Chuckie Finster is made of."

Kimi watched Chuckie as he crossed the cafeteria to where Colin was sitting alone. They made a brief exchange, and Chuckie sat down across from him. Chuckie made exaggerated motions while he talked, and Colin smiled shyly, just like he had when Chuckie had talked to him at his locker.

Kimi smiled and joined another table where Lil was eating a sandwich.

"I see you and Chuckie are speaking again," Lil commented.

"Yeah," Kimi said, "this morning I realized it was silly to stay mad at him. He didn't do anything wrong. He was just being… Chuckie."

"So, you're cool now?"

"We're more than cool." Kimi took a sip of her soda then asked, "By the way, how did coaching go yesterday?"

Lil set her sandwich down and frowned. "It's harder than I thought. Those little… _children_ refuse to listen to me for more than thirty seconds. I just want to kick a soccer ball at every one of their little heads. They've done it to me plenty."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah, but on the bright side, I'm still better than Phil. He actually thought he could be a better coach than me. You should have seen it!" she exclaimed. "I think all the practicing he's doing is actually worsening his soccer skills!"

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on him?" Kimi asked.

Lil wasn't phased. "Nah. This is how things are between us. Phil does something ridiculous. I laugh at his expense. He gets mad. He gets over it. Then I can get back to annihilating him on family video game night. You'll see."

"If you say so," Kimi said, looking like she didn't quite agree, and took another drink of her soda.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lil asked, slightly offended.

"Well, you have been especially condescending to him lately," Kimi answered. "It seems like every chance you get you're insulting him. I mean, I know he's Phil, but even he has feelings."

"I haven't been that mean to him… have I?" Lil asked.

"From a friend to a friend, you could probably cool it down a bit. That's all I'm saying."

Lil's eyes drooped as she frowned at her sandwich.


	7. Chapter 7

After school, Lil was once again dressed in her t-shirt, shorts, and cleats, with a whistle hanging around her neck. She had her hands on her hips, exuding the best air of authority she could muster. Her pee-wee players stood in a line looking up at her.

"Today we're going to learn how to dribble, and unlike yesterday we're going to do it in an _organized fashion_," Lil said forcefully and clearly.

The boy who had found the bug the day before raised his hand as high as he could.

"What is it, Jonah?"

Jonah lowered his hand and asked, "Where's that boy that looks like you? I liked him."

"Yeah!" another kid chimed in. "He was nicer than you."

"_I'm_ nice," Lil stomped her foot in aggravation. "And _I'm_ your coach, not him."

"He was fun," a girl added. "All you do is yell at us."

"I don't yell!" Lil yelled.

On the other side of the soccer field, Lil noticed Phil rounding the bleachers onto the field, kicking his soccer ball ahead of him as he went. The kids watched their coach to see what she would do next. Lil said nothing for a moment, struggling to decide what to do. Then she looked into Jonah's wide, hopeful eyes.

She sighed in defeat. "Alright, fine. PHIL! Get over here!"

Phil looked up at her and glared. "Why?! So you can make fun of me some more?! No, thank you!"

Lil grimaced, then said to the kids, "Play on your own for a minute, okay?"

They didn't need to be told twice. In seconds, they were running around in delight. Lil jogged across the field up to Phil, who was glowering at her.

"I'm not talking to you," he said sharply.

"Will you coach with me?" the words tumbled out of Lil's mouth, as if she might change her mind if she didn't speak quickly.

Phil looked taken aback. "What?"

"Look," Lil said, "The pipsqueaks want you around. For some reason they like you more than me."

"For some reason?" the corner of Phil's mouth twitched as he tried to keep a straight face.

"Ha ha," Lil said dryly. "Seriously, though, however much it pains me to admit it, you're better at dealing with kids than I am."

"Oh, really," Phil tossed his soccer ball back and forth from one hand to the other, pondering her words, then said guiltlessly, "Too bad."

He made to turn away, but Lil said quickly, "Hello! I just asked you to coach with me. What's your problem?"

"You're my problem!" Phil shot back. "You treated me like a useless idiot yesterday."

Lil was baffled. "I _always_ do that. What makes this time so different?"

"I don't know…" Phil chose his words carefully, "maybe this was just one time too many. The useless, embarrassing brother role gets old sometimes, you know?"

"I didn't know you felt that way," Lil said, her voice kinder.

Phil shrugged. "Only some of the times."

"Well," Lil said, grabbing Phil's soccer ball from him, "I don't think you're useless or embarrassing right now. Come coach with me."

"You're serious."

Lil nodded. "Think about it. You're better with those… kids, and I'm better at soccer-"

"Better at soccer _for now_," Phil pointed out.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, separately we make poor coaches, but together we could actually be a good team. What do you say?"

"I can see it now," Phil said dreamily. "The Phil and Lil Deville Unstoppable Coaching Duo!"

Lil laughed. "Only if you promise never to call us that again."

"Deal."

Lil tossed Phil's soccer ball back at him. He caught it, and the two of them jogged together to the other end of the field where a chaotic bunch of pee-wee soccer players needed coaching.

**THE END of Season 6 Episode 1**


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